Razor's Edge by Jodi Payne & B A Tortuga

Author:Jodi Payne & B A Tortuga [Payne, Jodi & Tortuga, B A]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781951011277
Publisher: Tygerseye Publishing, LLC
Published: 2020-01-20T16:00:00+00:00

17

Thomas sipped his coffee and looked out the windows in the living room at the busy Monday morning street below. It felt so odd not to be at work when the rest of the world was out there rushing. It was a lovely morning; there was sunshine for his boy’s birthday and blue sky for James, who liked to complain that New York was too gray.

They’d never spent James’s birthday together; that was what he was sticking to with Sam because the boy didn’t need his baggage today. But they’d texted every year, no matter what boondoggle James and Sam were on.

Happy Birthday, pet. I love you.

I love you, Master. You’re the best gift I’ll ever get.

He pressed his forehead against the cold window glass and made himself breathe. He knew it was normal, the guilt and the helplessness. Someday he would get over feeling like he should have done more, like James’s death was somehow his fault. Just not today.

Today was about Sam, not James. Today would be about Sam from now on. Missing James was understandable and allowed, focusing on the man was not.

He took one more deep breath, then pushed off the window and went to get Sam’s presents from where they were hiding in the playroom.

The office door was closed. Sam had been up and moving well before dawn, on his phone texting Bowie, Thomas was sure.

Angel had promised to get Bowie to his hotel last night, the eldest brother having had at least one or two too many, and the good-byes had been short and gruff.

He understood the closed door. Apart from being polite and not wanting to wake him up—which was ironic because he really hadn’t been sleeping—he understood the desire to hibernate, to hide, to just not deal with the day. If it was just his grief or just Sam’s in a vacuum he might even allow it. But he was anticipating many birthdays with his boy, so they had to deal with the day, and themselves, before the grief took on a life of its own.

He knocked on the door, giving Sam that much privacy at least, and allowing himself to slowly build up to his plans for the day.

Sam opened the door, offering him a half grin that didn’t quite meet his eyes, his boy already jittering a bit. “Morning, honey. How goes?”

“That’s not a real question, is it?” He reached for Sam, pulling the boy into his arms. “We need a lot of this today. This is how we’re going to make it better, together. Enough of this and it won’t just be better, it will be good.”

“I’ll be fine. I’m just checking emails.” Sam pushed close, though, and stayed there, soaking him up.

“Did Bowie get off okay?” The boy could say anything at all. Thomas knew Sam would say all sorts of things today—looking out for himself, protecting his Master—it wasn’t what the boy said that needed attention; the truth about how Sam was feeling was in his body.

Sam felt…stiff.

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